


Blame

by dreamsofspike



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-04
Updated: 2010-09-04
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:12:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's haunted by the dark secrets of his past... but Penny's determined to bring them to light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: reference to past violence and non-con

They've been together for nearly a year when she first glimpses one of the nightmares that plague him. He usually suffers them in silence, giving no outward sign of the torment that fills his dreams -- but tonight he's shaking, whimpering in his sleep, shaking his head and murmuring broken, pleading words.

"Billy... Billy, sweetie, wake up!" Penny murmurs urgently, putting her arms around him and kissing his temple, rubbing his back as she tries to rouse him. "Come on, Billy... you're dreaming. Wake up..."

He awakens with a start, scrambling out of her embrace and up against the headboard, his breath shallow and rapid, violently shaking. His eyes are wide and he doesn't even seem to see her.

"Billy... hey... sweetie, you're scaring me..."

He shakes his head slowly as he gradually seems to come out of it, focusing on her face. His eyes well with tears, and he looks away. She can almost see the walls falling into place around him again.

She refuses to let it happen.

She moves up to sit beside him, putting one arm around him and placing her hand on his cheek, gently insisting that he look at her. Her eyes search his face intently, and he knows there's nothing he can hide from her when she whispers in an urgent, loving tone of unyielding command.

"_Tell me_."

"It was... my fault... I... maybe I... did something..."

"What was your fault, Billy?" she presses, frowning and shaking her head in confusion.

"When I was... in college," he whispers, looking down at the mattress. He glances up at her with a grimace as he clarifies, "_Evil_ college. Where I got my PhD. They... came into my room one night. My... my roommate let them in. He... he did it, too."

"Did what?"

Penny prompts him when he's quiet for a very long time. He doesn't answer -- at least, not directly.

"They called me a... a slut. A dirty little faggot whore who d-deserved it... all of it..."

Penny's stomach drops as she understands what he's talking about, though a part of her mind is struggling not to understand this -- not to know this at all. She shakes her head slowly, an instinctive reaction to the horror he's speaking about; but he's not looking at her, staring down at the mattress with wide, faraway eyes.

"Maybe I was," he whispers, despairing. "Maybe I... did something to make them think... i wanted it. Maybe it was... the way I dressed, or... the way I talked to them..."

Suddenly, Penny understands with disturbing clarity why Billy's clothes never seem to quite fit.

_He's hiding himself... doesn't want anyone to think he's inviting them to... to..._

It's too horrifying; she can't finish the thought.

And she can't let _him_ finish it, either.

"No," she insists firmly, putting her arms around him and drawing him close. "Sweetie, it wasn't your fault... it could never be your fault. You didn't want it, and you _told_ them you didn't want it, and they hurt you anyway. Nothing you could do could make you deserving of that."

He's still and taut in her arms for a few long moments -- before yielding to the overwhelming emotions brought even closer to the surface by her affection. His narrow shoulders shake with sobs as he collapses into her embrace, clinging to her like a lifeline as he wordlessly pours out his pain.


End file.
